Boys who like boys

This might creep a lot of people out, but I think it's hot. 

I was walking the line

They say there is a fine line between Genius and Insanity. A year ago, I put myself on the Genius side, with my toes so precariously close to the edge that even a slight breeze would push me over to Insanity.

The breeze came. I don't know when, but when I look around, I can no longer see the line. I look in the mirror and I don't know the face staring back at me. I am surprised that men in white coats have not come for me yet. I think I would be better off being locked up somewhere. I think... ah, ah that's what has contributed to my downfall; Thinking. I was thinking too much, so much that I needed to turn off the thinking. Thinking just makes things worse, as I push everything through the Analyzer, and as it is pumped out the other end, I pick it up and push force it through the analyzer again because I have to look at everything from all angles because I don't want to be accused of not thinking things through properly. I don't want to be accused of not making the right decision. Machines break. I broke. The Analyzer can only take so much before it overheats and breaks down. That's what happened to this machine. Refusing to let anything in, avoidance was a relief. Ignorance is Bliss!!

I became apathetic and detached. Not thinking, I have made some decisions under duress that have not been my best options, but it was all that I was capable of doing at the time.

Basking in the blissful guise of ignorance, I found myself lacking purpose and personality and the shame of the shallow shell of my former self, detachment was the next best course of action. Vanity is my middle name, and I would not want to expose a less-than-perfect me to the world. So I pulled away.

Sensing something is not quite right, the thought machine starts to turn on but the responses that come out the other end, and my reaction to them, are irrational. I don't have the time in my life to heal. I am distraught by my mental state and my inability to survive in my reality, I feel myself sinking. Sinking into nothingness. Sinking into a deep abyss. Ah, an abyss is something, so technically I cannot say that I am sinking into nothingness, because something is not nothing. Thinking drives me crazy. I want to welcome the cold. I want to forget. Avoidance, wonderful tool ! If you don't think about it, then how can it possibly exists? Out of sight, out of mind.... ahhhh, bliss!

I wish I had the capacity to feel, to deal with my emotions, to deal with my Real World. This evening I spent three hour lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, and sobbing to the point of not being able to breath. It was uncontrollable, and I accomplished nothing. It was a new thing. Two days ago I found myself screaming while alone in the car.

Dumb girl, blank stare routine (because sometimes it's just easier that way)... I wonder if straight jackets come in PINK....

If you've made it this far down the page:

I've stopped (or started) long enough to catch a thought in my head. The thing that sent me into my state of despair was that I have to decide tonight which photo package of Miranda's school picture to mark on the order form, due back tomorrow. And the thought of having to make another decision on my own is already starting to send me into another state of panic. The cycle starts again.

o/~ I'm a machine, I'm a machine but I'm a funny colour, I'm a funny colour , I'm a machine, I'm a machine but I'm a funny colour, I'm a funny colour , I'm a machine but I'm a funny colour o/~

Standing on Middle Ground

I took the quick ORIGINAL Internet Political Quiz and it states that I am a Centrist:

“CENTRISTS espouse a "middle ground" regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they sometimes favor government intervention and sometimes support individual freedom of choice. Centrists pride themselves on keeping an open mind, tend to oppose "political extremes," and emphasize what they describe as "practical" solutions to problems.”

 
Your PERSONAL issues Score is 60%.
Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 70%.
(Scores falling on the Centrist border are counted as Centrist.)

But what does it mean if I found this to be more entertaining than the quiz results?  ... the fart button advertisement on the top of the page. I laugh every time I see that advertisement.  I've never been tempted to push it.

Sorry Chris, the Political Compass quiz was 6 pages, and not short enough to hold my attention! Although, the colourful chart and grids are pretty.

Little Pink Bow

It's an M. Andonia handbag.  A white patent leather handbag, silk lined, and decorated with a pink bow... *sigh* how delightful!  

I found this on on a UK site called All The Trimmings.  They have such adorable items! Handbags, shoes, belts...

The M Andonia website rocks, too. It's pink!

Looks Like This

In the editor it was looking like this:

Then I clicked a button and I got this! PINK!

 

AND I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO SET THE CATEGORY LABEL!! 
I rock.

That Baby Looks Good On You

I'm blogging through a new blog editor thingy that the BF told me to check out.  It's called Windows Live Writer.  I don't know if I like it.  I mean, it seems great for adding images, because you can add them real quick, BUT  I can't make it link to a larger version of the image. (correction, I think I figured it out, but now I can't adjust this font size without diving into the code.  Correction, I found it, tucked away)  And I can't make it add a Blogger tag.  It gives this list of tagging things like del.icio.us and technorati and Flickr but I just want to put a regular old Blogger Label on it.

I have to blog about something pink, so what's cuter than a baby dressed in pink?!  Maybe going to a girl/boy twin baby shower!  The babies belong to Scott's cousin.  I wanted to sneak one home in my purse.

In Bloom

Sending flowers is one of the best ways to show someone special how much you care...

A flower delivery man arrived at the office this morning. I was floored when he said the delivery was for me! Everyone thought it was from the bf, because come on, who else would be sending me flowers on a non-holiday, non-birthday day?

(I would be lying if I said that I didn't have my hopes up that they were from him. The bouquet had Gerbera daisies, but not pink ones, and I'm sure if he ever had a flower giving urge he would make sure they were pink.)

The beautiful basket of thoughtfulness was from one of our clients! I have been diligently slaving away on their site for the past 120 days and today was their Launch date. It's nice to know that someone was thinking about me. :)

Clip it

I found this in the newspaper a few months back, and I clipped it. Then I took a picture of it and I threw it out.

Eau de Achooo

At the mall today I stopped by my favourite perfume counter, to see the heavenly bottles of Angel by Thierry Mugler. I made the mistake of spraying my hand with his new fragrence called Eau de Star. I didn't like it. Then came the stuffy, runny nose and the sneezing. I washed it off, and the sneezing stopped. Then I put my jaket on and the sneezing started again. Wonderful. Three hours later, and the stuffy, runny nose and sneezing is finally calming down. Now I need to practice holding my breath so I can scrub the sleeve of my leather jacket without breaking out in a sneezing fit.

Glamguns

What can a girl ask for, maybe a pink Pink My Little Pony GLAMBO gun. (don't show Miranda, she will want one!!)

The Glambo Signature Series "My Little Pony" M4A1 carbine with forward handgrip and AN-PVS4 night vision sight. The perfect way to introduce your little princess to the wonders of nocturnal wet-work!
A bargain at only $859.95!

If that's not your cup of tea, Glamguns.com also sells Paris Hilton handcuffs.

*yawn*

Where does the time go? I have been watching some shows, listening to music, and working on this and that, and the next thing I know, it's 1:52am and I tucked Miranda into bed 5 1/2 hours ago!

October 15th +18C

By this time last year, we had snow, so today's warm weather and bright sun was AMAZING! After getting back home from the nature centre, I traded my high heels for Sketchers and we hit the rivervalley to hang out on the bridge... in more ways than one.

Miranda and I watched as Scott rappelled down to the riverbank below. I wanted to have a go, but Miranda was totally freaked by the idea, and honestly, I could have used a field lesson on something closer to the ground to supplement my living room lesson before going over the bridge railing.

I wonder if once I get the hang of going down the rope, can we try climbing up the rope to get back to the top of the bridge? (pictures)

Edmonton's 2008 Wild Backyard Calendar Lauch

Yesterday we attended Miranda's calendar launch at the John Janzen Nature Centre (previous Calendar blogpost)

The weather was LOVELY and we gathered outside in the sun as there was a congratulatory message for the artists. Then the gallery was opened so we could view the original art pieces. The artists were asked for autographs and they took questions and praise about their work. As a first prize winner, Miranda's painting was framed, with a gold plate displaying her painting's name, and her name. After, she posed for pictures with the animals on display, got an airbrushed dolphin tattoo, and went to the basement to do some sketching. She sketched a duck and coloured it with pastels. We sat on a picnic table and Miranda looked at this fun rock kit Baba bought for her from the giftshop. pictures

Amanda's Birthday THiny at BIlly BUdd's

(she'll probably kill me for reposting the typos from the event announcement)

It was Amanda's birthday thingy at Billy Budd's on Saturday night. We had a BLAST! There were a lot of people there who I missed on the camera because they left before we started shooting 'em up with the camera. Everyone was taking pictures with my camera and I was shocked when the battery died. Um, taking 95 pictures tends to do that to the battery!! .... I got home and the room was spinning. (pictures)

ps - the birthday's over Amanda, so I'm resuming the princess title. ;) I hope you remembered to take home the balloons.

oh and after making the collage above, I realised I missed the chubby buddy picture!

I have no idea, so don’t even ask

Sharpie

October is Breat Cancer Awareness month, and each year I purchase pink things in support. Last year it was the Thingamaboob for the Canadian Cancer Foundation. This year it's pink Sharpie markers, with the procedes going to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. They have a bunch of pink office supplies at the Supreme Basics office supply store.

The Camera Debate

I love Canon digital cameras. I have had 2 of them and I can't imagine switching. The BF swears by Sony cameras, and can't imagine switching. So this morning (in a ploy to woo me to the Sony Side) he sends me a link to the pretty pink Sony DSC-W55.

Instantly I rush to google "pink canon camera", because surely Canon has to make a pink one. Sadly, the Canon PowerShot SD40 is not as pretty looking as the Sony.

The Sony Store

The Sony Store at the mall always has cool gadgets, but now when I walk in there I just drool over the pink VAIO laptop. It's sleek and chic and shiny and cosmopolitan pink! How delish!

Just think how productive I could be at home if I had one of these to work off of (instead of the sluggish black dinosaur I have now). pink = zooooom!

Death Clock

How long does an ipod last? Wonder no more with the IpodDeath Clock! You enter the serial number and information on how much you use it, how often it's been dropped, etc, then get the verdit. Here's mine:

Music from the ♥

I ♥ MUSIC
I ♥ PINK
I ♥ Music that comes out of something pink!

These (melt my heart!) Ear Drop Heart Model earbuds from GeekStuff4U.com come in the following exciting pink colour combinations:

• pink with pink jewels
• pink with white jewels
• black with pink jewels
• white with pink jewels

I wouldn't be picky, but I can't decide if my all-time fav would be the pink with white jewels or the pink with pink jewels...

Like a Bond gadget, but in pink!

Skullcandy has made a watch called 'Bully' that not only tells time, but also has a 1GB MP3 player and a voice recorder and it comes in pink and has sparkly crystals! I don't wear a watch, but I'd wear this one.

High-performance wireless gaming ...in pink!

wooo-hooo!! Good for me if I ever start playing Xbox... Um, but first someone needs to get the Xbox fixed. ;) I wanna play Dance Dance Revolution! (Do they have a shopping game out yet??)

Xbox 360™ Wireless Controllers will be available in festive new colors. Express your gamer identity with this new pink Xbox 360 Wireless Controller, available in October 2007. High-performance wireless gaming now comes in pink! click here for more info

Expert at nothing

I wish I had a blog that was about something in particular. I read my favourites and they all have a topic: music, technology, nailpolish, fashion, makeup, handbags, comics, music. I want to have a topic other than "stuff about ME" because right now I am blogging about all these little things as they apply to me and my interests, and that seems so shallow and egotistical. Come on, do you really want to be reading about me all the time? it's not like my life is nearly as newsworthy as Lindsay's or Paris's or Britney's. (thankfully!)

I had an idea once to take pictures of cars with burnt out tail lights, since daily I get stuck in traffic, crawling behind vehicles and every day I see someone with a bulb burnt out. I nixxed that idea because it made me look creepy to be driving around with my camera ready.

I used to blog about the boyfriend a lot, but he grew tired of that very fast. But my boy genius just gave me an idea - I'll can start blogging about all things PINK !

Busy busy busy

I haven't blogged all week! During the week I was watching tv, and this weekend I was packing up Scott's stuff, moving Scott's stuff, bossing the moving boys around, unpacking Scott's stuff, cleaning Scott's old apartment, breaking for Glenn's birthday party, then doing more work at Scott's new place.

I love the new house! It's so quiet (compared to his old apartment) and the ceiling in the bedroom is sort of low and slanted. I woke up this morning and felt like a Barbie in a doll house! It's so cute and cozy! and I love the big trees in the yard and along the streets. (The weekend pictures are HERE. I didn't take too many because I was too busy working.)

Big trees=lots of leaves

Lots of leaves=lots of fun

Old doll-house=old-fashioned phone

My heart stopped today

Tonight I was checking out GUESS purses online. I love GUESS purses, when I find the perfect purse. (some of them are quite ugly!) Suddenly, my heart stopped! I heard the angelic choir singing Ahhhhh! and the pure white light was shinging down from ths heavens. I found the perfect GUESS purse for me!!!

♥ RESTORATION ♥

♥ Mocha canvas exterior - Bronze metallic leather-like trim - Brass hardware ♥ It's here on eBay!

Mr Safety and his movies

One day I found this Mac vs Hater video on the internet. It made me laugh, so I watched some more Mr Safety videos. He has some silly music videos (pig latin song, i will not pay for numa), a 5 minute video of him killing time, even posted a video of him proposing to his girlfriend, and then he wrote a song about his cat, Mean Kitty, and now he's posting videos about his kitty. I find him mildly entertaining, so I suggest you check his stuff out.

Loonie News

This is so big that CBC News sent me a Breaking News email

Breaking news from CBC News:
____________________________
The Canadian dollar hit the $1 US mark on Thursday morning, marking the first time the loonie has been on par with the American dollar since 1976.
http://links.cbc.ca/a/l.x?T=jncickejepiipgdgniccelie&M=1

her super cool backpack

Grade 1 she wanted a Princess backpack.
Grade 2 she wanted a Barbie backpack.
Grade 3 she wanted was a FOX backpack.

Cruel reminder of things that are unobtainable to me

Brian vents:
itunes is suck a dick!
Why is itunes mean?
It would take very little effort you make a check in the software to say
oh! if you're in a country, if user.country=iphone.country then show ringtones, otherwise, DON'T TAUNT ME!

Canada Vignettes: Log Driver's Waltz

We were watching a Molson's I AM CANADIAN video on the internet which ran through images of the 70's and 80's. There was one shot of a log rider and I piped up, Hey! remember that little thingy that used to be on TV as a filler, that started off with the man on the log and turned into a cartoon?? In no time, we had it qued up on youtube. If you had a TV in the 80's then you will remember this film about the girl who wants to marry the log rider over the afflunt men, because he is the best dancing partner she can find. The 3 minute animated film was made by the National Film Board of Canada (go Canada!) in 1979.


For he goes birling down a-down the white water
That's where the log driver learns to step lightly
It's birling down, a-down white water
A log driver's waltz pleases girls completely.

Shoot 'em Up, not cool when it's in your backyard

I was asleep on the couch, so I (thankfully) missed all the action. I don't think it was in my parking lot, but there are a few complexes very close here, so it was still practically in my backyard.

Parking lot shooting angers neighbours
Elise Stolte
Edmonton Journal
Thursday, September 13, 2007

EDMONTON - Three men are in hospital after at least a dozen shots were fired in a townhouse parking lot Wednesday night.

At about 8:30 P.M., Krista Sedgwick heard swearing and looked out her bedroom window near 137th Avenue and 38th Street.

She saw two men in their 20s pull guns and start firing on three teenagers. "I threw my two kids off the bed," said the mother of four.

"Two idiots pulled guns and fired at three idiots. I've had enough with this neighbourhood."
When the two men took off running, she locked the doors, gathered her children in the centre of the house and phoned police.

Acting Staff Sgt. Troy Carriere said patrol cars arrived to find one man had been shot through the hand and fled through a stranger's front door. Minutes later, police got another call from a Wal-Mart across the street. Two other men had been shot in the legs and fled there, Carriere said.

Their injuries are not life-threatening. They aren't co-operating with police.
When officers taped off the parking lot, they found more than a dozen casings scattered on the ground and bullet holes in vehicles and in townhouse walls. The bullets appeared to come from a 9-mm pistol, Carriere said.

"We're still trying to find where the rest have landed. ... It was just lucky there were only three victims."

The parking lot was nearly empty at the time, Sedgwick said. But many homes have young children.

Sheri Crowe heard shots, poked her head out the front door and saw a car speed away. She has a four-month-old baby. "I went back inside. I was curious, but not that curious," she said.
When Bisharo Omer heard the shots, "my older one was outside, my 14-year-old. My heart just dropped," she said. "The area is not what it used to be."

© Edmonton Journal 2007

My vanity and the distorted perception of reality

A few months ago, I used to believe I was perfect because of my imperfections. Today, I feel like my imperfections are taking over, and I'm not pretty enough. I'm getting fat. I'm getting wrinkles. I'm getting grey hairs. I'm growing older. I look at the girls on the fashion and beauty magazines, and I don't look like them. The truth of the matter is, most of those girls on the magazines don't look much like themselves either.

I found this site - a project made for the Swedish Ministry of Health and Social Affairs. It's an interactive Flash Demo that illustrates how almost every part of this girl's body has been altered to create a more attractive photo. I knew this already, but it's easy to forget just how much a photo can be digitally altered.

I don't know what my problem is. I'm pretty, my daughter thinks I'm pretty, I have a boyfriend, I have friends who like to be seen in public with me, and the children don't shreak and run in fear when they see me. I am perfect and attractive in the eyes of the people who matter the most to me, so that should be enough. I'm working on accepting that.

Now I'm obsessed with retouching. Here is another site that illustrates the changes that can be done digitally. I espacially like the close ups of the faces/lips.

(I also really like these shoes!!)

Ouch, that was painful

I'm not one to get dragged into the hype of celebrity gossip, but after seeing the passionless stills of Britney's VMA comeback performance, I admit I had to Google it to see it for myself. click here to view the show

Ouch! Talk about a crash and burn.
Right from the beginning she looked wobbly in those boots. Her fake giggle make me gag. She looked like she was auditining for one of those "think you can dance" shows. It looked like a run-through, you know, where you're just making sure you hit your marks, and you don't go through all the movements like you will be doing in live performance. She looked awkward, distracted, totally not interested in being there. Maybe someone played a cruel trick on Britney, and told her it was just a practice, that the cameras weren't rolling, and that the real show was going to be later. She didn't dance, she didn't sing, it was painful. it was like a car crash... horrible but you can't stop looking at it.

Sarah Silverman cracked some brutal jokes right after the performance. It's rumoured that Britney heard Sarah rehearsing earlier and actually wasn't going to perform, knowing what would be said about her after her show.

The song, Gimme More, it's kinda not bad. I wouldn't call it good, but I'd dance to it if it was playing at the club. listen to it here

ps - it annoyed the piss out of me how many times she brushed back her hair. Hello! you're supposed to be a performer, you know how your hair moves, so you're supposed to style it so it is not a distraction from your dance. duh! (I just saw a clip on MTV that said her stylist flew to Vegas with her, but refused to do her hair). I won't even touch on the subject of the glittery bikini...

1 minute 13 seconds

September 9, 2007: Scott and Angeline visit Galaxyland and ride the Mindbender rollercoaster together. They landed the sweet front seat, where you can experience the ride with nothing obstructing your view. The ride lasts for 1 minute and 13 seconds. You travel a total distance of 4,198 feet (1,279.6 m), reach a height of 145 feet (44.2 m), drop 127 feet (38.7 m), and hit a max speed of 60 miles per hour (96.6 km/h)... and love every minute of it!!

I can't remember the last time I was on the rollercoaster (wow, probably 10-ish years ago). My daddy used to take me on it all the time when I was a kid! Some people won't go on it because of the accident; some people just don't like rollercoasters. They don't know what a rush they are missing out on!! I didn't say anything when Scott double checked my restraints; as if I was going to let myself be not properly secured in my seat! ;)

As the train cimbed up the first hill, and we were at the top and just about to turn over the peak, I wondered to myself, oh shit, what the hell was I thinking, agreeing to sitting at the front?! But then we went down and around and up and loop-dee-loop and my hair was blowing all over the place and Scott was whoo-hooing and it was so much fun and we went this way and that way and then into the tight third loop and then around on the side (I was sitting on the close to the ground side that Scott had wanted, next time we'll know better) and it totally sucked when the ride stopped!! And Oh! I just realised that the part that used to freak me out the most when I was a kid, the side close to the ground by the mirror part... well I didn't even notice the mirror this time around. Being in the front car is the best place to be!!

June 14, 1986: I was 3 days away from turning 10. There was an accident at Fantasyland, and loose bolts on the wheel assembly cause the train's last car to break off the track. The car hit two support pillars before entering the third loop. Three people were killed and a forth person was paralyzed. One person was a friend of my after school teacher.

The rollercoaster opened in 1985. Now the mall stops the rollercoaster every 2 hours for routine maintenance checks, and in the 21 years since the accident, the Mindbender has had an excellent safety record.

The White Stuff

Sept 6th, thankfully not snow - hail. It cam complete with wind and thunder. After dinner, the kids were out in the backyard, shovelling it into pails.

Rose Quartz

My stepmum bought me a pair of Rose Quartz earrings this past weekend, earring which I would never wear out of the house. Each earring had 2 beads (one large, one small) so I decided to grab some Swarovski crystal and other rose quartz beads, and I made them into a bracelet! (shown below. Also shown, the new bracelet Scott bought for me; I love it, I'm going to be buried wearing it ♥ )

The larger quartz beads make the bracelet look funny when on the table, but it weights it at the bottom, so the nice round beads stay at the top of my wrist.

Along with the earrings was a note about Rose Quartz - This stone is of unconditional love and infinite peace. It is the most important crystal for the heart and the heart chakra, teaching the true essence of love. It purifies and opens the heart at all levels, and brings deep inner healing and sel-love. It is calming, reassuring, and excellent for use in trama and crisis. This stone gently draws off negative energy and replaces it with loving vibes. It helps heal childhood fears and tramas, and teaches you how to love yourself. It encourages self-forgiveness and acceptance, and invokes self-trust and self-worth.

Wow, all from one stone! ;) I know I have been a bit of a monster lately, but if things do improve, I will be hesitant to say it was due to having some pink stones strung around my wrist.

coolest song in the world (for the moment)

♪ ♪ So Happy... ♪ ♪ by James Blunt! I heard it at the boyfriend's place a couple weekends ago and I was like, Why haven't I heard this song before?! He was like, oh, it's a new one.

It's from the 1973 cd single, along with the song, Annie, which also really good! If I had to put them in order, 1973 would be my least favourite of the 3 songs, but I really do love them all.

What's better than Tic Tacs?

MANGO TIC TACS!!

I resisted the urge to rip open the package and suck the little candies up like a Hoover... until yesterday. Oh my, these things were tasty! (avec Vitamine C!) But look, I didn't eat that many!! With only 4 coveted boxes in the country (these ones came from the Netherlands), I have to be a wise consumer.

dank je wel :)

Creepy Crawlies

I'm usually the first to run screaming at the sight of an insect, but this site shines a new light on insects. They are almost beautiful. Cool > Super Close Up Insects