pre-New Year's Resolution

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
(- Let Go, by Frou Frou)

I do not make New Year's resolutions; I don't need to have a special day to resolve to make improvements to myself and my life. Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I thought that I have accomplished a great many small things this year. I have over come a few fears and inhibitions, and wouldn't it be great if I could continue with that in the next year?! I mean, who ever would have thought that I would be running in public?! Not me.

Starting now, I am going to LET GO... or at least make an honest attempt at it. Let go of the fears that are holding me back, let go of my inhibitions, just let go... of course all within reason. (It's not like I'm going to do anything drastic and character damaging.)

Cheers to LETTING GO!

Go Elf Yourself!

Ah I wish I had found this before Christmas! Whatever, anytime is a good time to be an elf, right? Check out my Elfamorphosis.

Now you go elf yourself and send me a copy!

Like a Seinfeld episode

Some girls have stalkers, but I have a WAVER!

PART 1:
I was at the gym, running circles on the track. At one point, I was passing a walker when I saw a guy in the weight area, reclined on one of the machines, wave. It was a small hand-at-the-waist wave. I didn't recognize him, so I assumed he knew the walker, and was simply waving a friendly hello at this man walking beside me.

Later in my run, I spotted this guy again when he was in a different part of the weight area, and I saw him wave again. This time, there was no one else around me so he was actually waving at me! So I thought that I must know him! Dark hair, well built, and it must be this guy who I of who goes to my gym. I smiled and figured he would catch up with me when I was walking or stretching.

He never did catch up with me. When I was walking for my cool down, I started to regain the ability to focus, and try to search him out in the crowd, but I couldn't find the face I was looking for. I called him when I got to my car, expecting to leave a message on his voicemail. I was suprised when he answered his phone, but not entirely since he lives close by and could have left the gym before I did. He denied being at the gm that day, so I told him the story about the gym waver. We had a laugh over it. Why would a guy just wave to a girl in the gym?

PART 2:
The next day at the gym got to the top of the stairs and was waved at. I was in shock so I didn't know how to react and kept walking. It was the waver! He went on the treadmill and I was on the track so I could see him as I passed by, but because of the angle it was hard to make eye contact or something unless I was looking behind me, which I was totally not about to do. When I was finished running, he was over in the weights area and I just left. Who just waves to a girl at the gym and then never comes over to say hi??

Funny thing is, I don't really know what this guy looks like. I don't think I would be able to pick him out in a line up! Attractive, well build, square shoulders, dark hair... that probably describes 1/2 the guys in the gym. lol Since people can change the clothes they wear to the gym, I think I need to look for a more consistance distinguishing feature like their shoes, since most people wear the same shoes to the gym each visit.

Merry Christmas!

Will catch up on all the trip details later.....

Mistletoe

a little holiday haha

The Current Fad?

Is this some sort of new modern craze, to display your Christmas tree upside down ? I saw one of these at London Drugs and thought it was quite odd and un-natural looking (aside from the fact that the tree was fake). It's actually a 12 century central European tradition, when they would hang the fir trees from the ceiling, the triangular shape symbolizing the holy trinity and Christianity. Nowadays it's a convenient way to free up a place for sitting, posing for pictures, and of course more room for presents.

for the person who has everything

What do you buy as a Christmas gift for the person who already has everything they could ever want? How about an $80.00 chocolate bar! Toblerone makes this one that is 4.5kg.What the heck would someone do with such a thing? ok, share it, but how on earth would you cut it? You'd need a chainsaw to hack it into bit sized pieces! If one person was to eat it, I wonder who long it would take. Talk about going into sugar shock! I like Swiss chocolate (Lindt is yummy too, especially their Lindor truffles!), but I'd end up in a coma if I tried this massive bar. I am quite content with the little 100g bars, thank you very much.

If you're shopping in the city, I found this one at Shopper's Drug Mart in the East side of the City Centre Mall. And they had 2 of them on the shelf.

Final Moments

This is how Miranda spent her final moments as a 6-year old.
And now she is 7. Happy birthday, baby girl!

Visiting HO HO

Miranda went to see Santa Claus (aka Father Christmas) at the mall today. She was very excited and wrote a letter this morning to give to him. She was impressed that he knew her school was just down the street, and when he asked her who her teacher was, he knew she was in the French Immersion Program. Santa wished her a happy birthday and told her to let her teacher know he would be also bringing something special for her on Christmas. Miranda said he was a very good Santa helper, and Santa must have told him a lot of stuff.

Christmas Party

Last Saturday was the company Christmas party at Dante's. Raj and I sure know how to put on one hell of a party! Dinner was fantastic! The salmon and potatoes and salads... yuuuummmmm! and Daniel was a dear and even brought me a nanaimo square for desert (not without giving a little of his arrogant English attitude first). We all did a lot of hamming it up for the camera. And James and Pokey (who used to work with us) showed up for some fun. But it wasn't all fun when Pokey fell off the chair and fell face first to the concrete floor. There was a pool of blood, it was a mess. He walked away with a nasty cut on his face, and his buddy promised to take him to Emerg to get checked out. That was sooooo scary.

click image to enlarge

click to see my party album

Since I am usually the one taking the pictures and not in very many of them, this year I made a point to get lots of pictures of myself. It was my project to get a photo made with all the office guys who were there. In the end, I ended up missing three of them (Mark, Sean & Jason) but scored extra points for getting one with the cute bartender.

We had LOTS of good prizes. The most popular ones were the the envelopes, an ipod, a pink frying pan (like the one I have at home) and a set of casserole dishes. Initially I won a 6 DVD Harry Potter set, which I gave to Mark's wife because I heard her exclaim how much she wanted that and took her bottle of Jagermeister. Later, Kevin stole the Jager from me and gave me a tin of chocolate covered cookies. Then I drew my own name as one of three winners of extra prizes and I got some liquor.

One Week

In one week I will be on my way to Phoenix. Running in the cactus covered mountains, ahhhhh! Goodbye snow! I cannot wait!!

Empty your purse, ma'am!

Last night I was teased as to why my purse was so heavy (it's really not that heavy). I emptied the contents on to the table: note pad, digital camera, wallet, ipod nano, jewelled hair clip, gum, 2 Future Shop gift cards, allergy and back pain pills, extra car key, nail file, hand cream, mobile phone, mints, hair ties, hair pins, and 12 diffent kinds of things to apply to my lips! Gloss, coloured gloss, chap sticks, lip sticks. (one was hiding so there are only 11 in the photo) And there should have been even one more, but it was in my jacket pocket when I went out on the weekend.

What can I say? I like to keep my lips moisturized and soft!!

Happy Couple

Congratulations to Tara & Tom!

My dear, sweet, beautiful friend just got engaged! She sent me pictures of the ring on her finger and it's gorgeous. *happy envious sigh*

Nightmares

There's a hole in your soul / Where your heart used to me / All the doors are locked / And you can't find the key / There's fish in the sky / And there's birds in the sea / And you hate me / But you need me / You're drowning from all of the tears in the sky / It's a bad dream / You can't even close your eyes / It's a bad dream / A bad dream / Screaming from the voice inside / Trying to find a place / Inside / To hide / From the bad dream ..... Badream by Jakalope


I had another bad dream last night/this morning. When I woke up it was already morning, so I didn't have to worry about trying to fall back asleep. I wouldn't have been able to; I didn't want to close my eyes again.

That makes 2 in just over a week. The other one was on the night of Dec 1st. I was up sobbing at 3:30 and it was such a bad dream that I did not want to go back to sleep. I would close my eyes and see the dream all over again and I didn't want to dream more about it.

The dreams had the same theme, and it won't surprise me if it happens again.

Narcoleptic

On Wednesday I suffered from a narcoletpic attack on the way home from work. It was a normal day and I wasn't overly tired. I walked to my car and turned on some hopping music (The Presets!). By the time I reached the end of Jasper Avenue (we're talking 14 blocks away from where I park) I blinked and I have no idea how long it took for my eyes to open again, but it was a lot longer than what it should have been. It happened another 2 times before I got home. The second time it happened I only jerked awake because I felt the car rolling forward.

I had always been aware of how easy it could be to fall aleep while driving, like if you were super exhausted or a shift worker or something like that, but I never imagined that it would happen as it did. I think it has to do with the lack of daylight. It's dark when I leave in the morning and it's dark when I go home in the afternoon.

Wow, in retrospect, I had quite the dangerous week. I'm glad I made it out without hurting anyone other than myself (my back still hurts and my bottom is horribly bruised from the fall).

Unscheduled Trip

I took at trip at 6:30 this morning. I woke up and started to go downstairs. I took two steps down the stairs then slipped and fell down the remaining 12 steps. I didn't know what was happening until I felt the pain of my butt hitting the first step.

Everything hurts now. It will be even worse tomorrow, right in time for my Christmas party. Wonderful.

Last time Angelgirl took a major fall on the stairs: October 28, 2005 at the Central LRT station.

Eye Spy

my little eye

that's creepy

I'm wearing my long blue shirt and a blue & gold top to the christmas party and I just decided (with Michellini's help) that I will be wearing green eye makeup instead of the Raisin I usually wear. The green colour is actually called Cold Cash! I bought it because of the cool name. I even remember that I was on the phone with a panicked man (his new computer had just been splashed with paint) when I picked it out.

Damage Case

We're all damaged, it seems.
Some of us, more than others.
We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grownups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage.
And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can.

- Grey's Anatomy (Season 2 Episode24, Damage Case)

My soul feels heavy today.

A white dream shivers
engulfing heartache chokes
the scream under the waves.

Putting out our shoes

Miranda, with her incredible memory, remembered that the start of December has that great celebration of Sinterklaas, so she made sure we put our shoes by the tree to have them filled with chocolate(the greedy little lass had to put out 2). She even remembers (and I'm using her words) that last year she was left with a chocolate of St. Nikolas and that I got the little dark helper.

We were good this year! and got chocolates instead of sticks and straw.

The Dutch shop by my house closed this summer so I didn't have a chance to track down some cool chocolate or Pepernoten. Even the Shopper's Drug Mart didn't have the chocolate initials like they did last year. They year she will have to be content with Swiss Toblerone chocolate& a kinder surprise.

With her birthday in a couple of weeks and Chrismtas a few days later, I am leaving it as just a celebration of chocolate (like she needs more, for her already gets her daily dose with her Barbie count down to Christmas calendar, with chocolates behind each numbered door) because she really doesn't need any more presents. If she remembers it next year then perhaps we'll write poems, but I just don't have any time to think of one right now. (My social calendar has me exhausted!)

Trimming the Tree

Sunday we put up the tree and decorated the house, while Lucky supervised.

Collection of Ladies

I guess I have started a sort of collection... this weekend I bought the small red one to hold a photo or something like that. The rest of them hold jewlery. The burlesque earring holder (far left) and the meshy one (to hold neclaces and bracelets) both go on my vanity. The one with with the long skirt, the red one, and the decorated wine bottle case will stay on the dresser.

Fateless

You can close your eyes. You can turn away. But you will never forget.

I saw a movie this weekend, Sorstalanság (Fateless).
Budapest 1944: it is a moving tale about a 14 year old Jewish boy as he is sent to to work in a brick camp and his bus is stopped and he is sent to Auschwitz and then later to Buchenwald. During this time, he comes to learn much about life and friends. The movie was visaully stimulating, as it was done in sepia, black and white, and coloured scenes to emphasize various moods. This movie is based on the contemporary novel by Nobel Prize winner Imre Kertész.

Like any movie about concentration camps that I have seen, it is depressing at times, and also very thought provoking. How can human beings treat other humans like that, and are we still guilty of such crimes against humanity. Ultimately the movie shows the unbelievable resilience of the human spirit.

ugh!

What a morning... I wake up late because I had difficulties falling asleep last night. I go to make Miranda's lunch and see that I forgot to bake the croissants I put out to thaw last night. I take Miranda to Jarod's house to wait for the bus and my car gets stuck in the snow mound from when they scraped the street. Jarod's dad comes out to help me out and I put down the window so we can talk. I get out and start driving away only to discover that my window will not go back up. Oh and did I mention it was snowing?

I call my daddy but he had no suggestions, aside from putting the car in a heated garage and hope that un-sticks it. I didn't know who to call next. I call Honda's roadside assistance to see if I was still covered (I have been fearing that it was only good for a year and expired this past August). Fortunately, I can stop worrying about that as I am covered until August 2008). So then I tell the guy my window is stuck. He said it would take a while for a tow truck to come and take the car to the dealership. I told him not to bother because I was already driving and the dealership is in the same general direction as I was driving.

I was told it would probably be at least 2 hours to get looked at, but I could wait in the customer lounge. The lounge was nice, tv on the sports channel, somewhat cozy chairs, but it was feezing (or rather, I was freezing from drving with the window all the way down). There was also a kitchen and you could purchase breakfast or lunch! Cereal, toast, grilled cheeese, and daily specials (today it was pyrogies for lunch). I had a Coke Zero and Raisin bread in my bag. Also, it was a good thing my ipod was recharged (yesterday morning I went to turn it on for my walk to the office and it was dead) and I had magazines in my car to read. So I sat and tried to keep myself from freaking out how much this was ging to cost me.

The Window: The service department tried oiling it first but that didn't rectify the problem, so the ended up replacing the run channel. I now have the window up (and it goes up and down just fine) and it didn't cost me a cent. fhew!

Once I got downtown I had to park further away than I normally do because the lot was so full. :( And my leg really hurts because I have a tight muscle from not stretching properly after running on Tuesday (which was aggravated because I ran again last night), and sitting and waiting for the car didn't make it any better. I imagine that walking 11 blocks (three of those through the snow) in high heels probably doesn't make it any better. The pain started off as a tightness in my ITB (iliotibial band) at my hip, and after last night's run the pain was extending down to my knee. I know it will be fine with a little rest, ice and stretching.

Of all days to have to stay late at work... this afternoon I promised Miranda I would get her right after work and we'd go to the school to visit the book fair. Now she's going to have to miss it, and I will have to come up with a way to make it up to her. In the end, this car problem is costing me in the long run. :(

22 more sleeps until I get on the lace for Phoenix.... :)

Welcome to the deep freeze

Here is a look at what the weather was like today. It didn't get any warmer than this.
ps - check out the temperature with the wind chill brrrr!

Vanity

I like my hair in this picture, except for that little piece on my forehead that is out of place. I would photoshop it out but I can't be bothered. I wish I could just brush it out of the way!

The Bird

My latest school project - THE BIRD on my hand, posted on the gallery board below the blue house with the red door and the many rooms that I will one day live in...

Nov 25

my horrorscope for yesterday:

All of your efforts pay off when you realize there's a whole new way to look at this situation. You may not understand what the point of all this work is, but you'll soon see that you were meant to be on this new path.

It works so much easier when I look at them in retrospect.

ha..ha..ha...haaaa

For Jenny's birthday we went to the Comic Strip in WEM. The guys made us laugh but were not hillarious. The funniest part was them cutting up this company Christmas party. They were a chainsaw manufacterer, Husqvarna. Anyway, you had to be there. The headline started off with a good joke, but we cannot remember what it was about, and then he ended strong. How lame, you can totally see through that one: have the audience remmeber laughing when you started and laughing when you finish. But his last joke was funny. He was making fun of people who talk baby talk to their dogs and turned it around to see how it would be if they spoke to people that way, like say to a cop of a girl in the bar. That was funny! We also got free tickets for another show because our seats weren't in the best spot.

After the show, everyone went home except for me and Daniel. We went to Moxie's for dinner and the insensitive bloke ordered a big boy Heineken (and then a Corona - big boys are 700mL). He did say that he considered not getting the Heineken but couldn't resist its great taste. I was drinking stripnotic and showgirl cocktails. Why do they give them such horrible names? I played wingman and helped the charming lad land the waitress's digits. haha! She initially thought that we were together and then thought it was a first date when Daniel questioned me being a vegetarian. She insisted that we were a couple. She is like 20, so that explains a lot.

After dinner, we met up with David at Fever. Holy crap was that place horrible! (David was there for a birthday celebration.) Very young crowd, girls with their Babyphat purses and Bebe tanks. The club, although non smoking, was constantly under the smoke of a fog machine. It hurt my eyes and my throat. We only stayed an hour before calling it a night.

Mmmmm... Pashmina!

I got a gift in the mail, a lovely Pashima/Silk scarf from Carolyn, a present from her trip to Italy! It is so soft and soooo warm! It is a light pink colour, with a rainbow of colours woven in with gold tinsel.

Pashima is also called the "diamond fiber" and "the soft gold of high Asia". It is the finest, softest and warmest wool known to mankind, coming from the underbelly of the Capra Hircus goats from the Himalayas.

Miranda got a wooden Pinocchio toy, one of those kind that you hold on to the head and pull a string at the bottom and the arms and legs move up and down.

Where I want to go!!!!

With this year's Christmas visit to Phoenix, I want to go to the Phoenix Art Museum!

Exhibits that will be there at the same time I will be there include, Fierce Reality: Italian Masters from 17th Century Naples, Modern by Nature: Ansel Adams in the 1930s, After Dark: 100 Years of the Evening Dress (this one should be fun!), Brilliant Abstraction: Orme Lewis Gifts in the New Orme Lewis Gallery, George Thiewes: Expanding the Sculptural Field.

Bummer that I will be there before the Rembrandt and the Golden Age of Dutch Art: Treasures from the Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam exhibit arrives. :( They will have 14 works by Rembrandt! There is to be over 90 pieces in total! I could cry! *sob* I'm so sad I'll be missing out, as the exhibit is only going to 3 museums in the United States.

Mostly for no reason

In addition to Jennifer's birthday card, I made some other cards the past two evenings. One is for my Oma, who broke her hip and could use some cheering up. The other cards I made with no purpose in mind aside from something to do to occupy my time. I'm on my way to having a box of handmade cards and nothing to do with them. Perhaps I'll open up a card service: I'll write on the inside, adress the letter, and mail it to whomever your heart desires. Any requests? (my other cards)

(click for a larger view)

House 2

Another house made during my trip to mentor at the elementary school. Instead of putting it on the art board, I am keeping it at work. Truth be told, I would have put it up on the board (to show off haha! remember my house with a red door) but I only had time to colour it at the school. I cut it out and glued it together during one of my breaks at the office.

It was my mentee's birthday yesterday so I sent along a card with one of my co-workers, so I could wish her a happy birthday since I wouldn't be seeing her until today.

Grey

This morning the temperature was -17C, but with the windchill it was -24C. It snowed a few centimetres over night. By the light of the streetlamp, the snow was soft, flakey, and sparkling. It almost made me forget how cold I was. Another 2-4cm will fall before tomorrow morning, and it gets colder for the rest of the week. How many weeks until Spring?

Happy Birthday, Jenn!

Today was Jennifer's birthday!


Yesterday, Michelle and I stayed late at work, blew up 2 dozen balloons and decorated Jenn's desk to surprise her when she arrived in the morning.


I didn't take very good pictures, because there was the whole other side of the pod that was decorated with balloon and streamers.


It was a "made with love" themed birthday surprise, as Michelle and I even handmade cards for the birthday girl. :)

David Carter

From the MAKEBELIEVE exhibit, my favourite was the collection by David Carter.

In Vanisher, I was at first confused why there was smoke on the top, smoke on the bottom, and then a smokeless space in between. I could not comprehend how that could be possible! I walked away, perplexed and annoyed. Then I studied Magic Box and I had a EUREKA moment! In Magic Box there are a series of glass plates which break the box into compartments. Combining the two, in Vanisher, the smokeless space is there the vanishee is hiding, as no one really vanishes, it is just an illusion. Also, upon closer inspection, the puffs of smoke are not from a continuous explosion, also emphasizing the creation process of an illusion.
Visually, my favourite piece was Sequel. I find it to be haunting and cold, but warm at the same time, which is strange because the body below is in a coffin, so really, it would not be warm at all.

Sequel follows a piece called Part 1. The full picture is the snowy scene with the severed head. What's neat about these pictures is that the images were created solely by make-up, staging, and set design: no digital manipulation of the images.


There was to be a 5th piece in this display, Presenting, but it was not out. I think someone knocked it over and broke it.

AGA

My trip to the Art Gallery of Alberta was quite nice! Actually, it was a lot of fun!!

I was pleased to see there were more than 5 pices in the Baroque Masterwoks exhibit: 13, in fact! from the National Art Gallery of Canada, and then a display of Baroque pieces that the University of Alberta has in its collection.

I was also surprised by the modern art exhibit that was there: MAKEBELIEVE. It featured Canadian artists, highlighting the mechanisms of distortion & the construction of illusions. I most enjoyed the pieces by David Carter (Vancouver). Until this visit, I never quite understood modern/contemporary art. Maybe I have gained a bit of clarity since turning 30, or perhaps having someone to discuss it with made it easier to understand. (I think it's the latter.) I finally figured out how to appreciate television as an art medium!

(top image: Milutin Gubash; bottom image: Myfanwy Macleod)